I did a video at the request of a dear friend today, it addresses my thoughts and views on children calling one of the women in a lesbian relationship “Daddy”, as in being expected to view that woman as the “Daddy” in the situation, and attaching all of the meaning of that word to that woman. Now, I am speaking of woman to woman relationships, Butch – Femme or not. As a Butch that identifies as a woman also, I am not speaking of the use of it in a situation involving one individual being FTM, or a transguy. THAT I view very differently, and am not opposed to the practice of using “Daddy” in that realm at all.
But, in a lesbian relationship, let’s face it folks, we are both women. And there is no “Daddy” in the picture. And calling a person who identifies as a woman “Daddy” can be just plain confusing to a young person, and to that young person’s friends – who WILL question him/her about it at some point, posing an awkward discussion at the least. I know, some people practice this, and hey, it’s their personal business, but I can’t help but just wonder what the reasoning behind this practice really IS for them, and if they consider the future difficulties this could cause for the child/children.
I have a little dog companion, Nola. Now, often I tell Nola “I’m the bestest Daddy, huh Nola?” and other endearing things referring to me as her “Daddy”…then 10 minutes later I do some weird sort of inner virtual switch and become the “bestest Mommy”…it’s just a thing, with a non-verbal PET, that I have no idea why I started doing. I think it’s harmless, the other neighborhood dogs are oblivious to the language between me and Nola – only Nola gets that! And SHE is actually the bully of the neighborhood anyway! LOL…I laugh, but seriously I have to rein her in quite frequently as she lets other animals in the vicinity know that some tiny part of her is full blooded wolf, and THIS is HER territory. She’s so friggin cute.
Back to my original topic, and one I did a Youtube vlog yesterday about: children calling one of the women in a lesbian relationship “Daddy”…I know this is controversial, and that some people think that I am wrong to even think that this shouldn’t happen. But the word Daddy is one used for males in situations raising children for the most part. It has a meaning and is conceived by society to be proper to use for that man who represents a father to the child. When two women are raising children, what do the children call them? May I suggest Mom and Mommy, or maybe some other affectionate term like Pookie?? Why would one want to be called “Daddy” by a child if she is a female identity? I may be Butch, and I may ride the line towards masculinity very hard, but I don’t want a kid calling me “Daddy” because I don’t want that child to be confused, teased, have to explain or be expected to deal with any range of other issues that can come up. I just don’t want to put that burden on any child. Gender is confusing enough, especially when you are growing up, and making it more confusing just isn’t something I want to be involved in.
I’m curious about the various views on this topic of my readers. Leave me a comment below about how you handle or would handle this situation in your own life. I am not judging anyone, we are all free to do as we please and see fit, and this is just my personal opinion on this subject.