My Butch Identity

We all determine our own identity.  It’s a basic and very real fact.  We wake up in the morning and we KNOW who we each ARE in this vast world; and in the sub-culture of the Butch-Femme world it is no different.  It’s how the “world” view us that often perplexes me…that and how my own “other” lesbian friends visibly flinch at the mention of the word “Butch”.  Like somehow it reflects on their own identity that they have a friend who identifies fully as Butch.

As in S. Bear Bergman’s book “Butch is a Noun” I am of that same very thought – Butch IS a fucking noun!  And I embody my Butch identity in my own truly unique way, just as every other self-identified Butch is entitled to have it their way.  There are no real rules, although there are a TON of stereo-typical imaginings of what Butch is and is not.

Butch Wonders talks about “gender policing” or “identity policing” that goes on, as I also spoke of in a recent Youtube vlog I did.  Everyone has their own notions of what is and is not “Butch” or even “Butch Enough” or what is too girly to be Butch to begin with.  And while I may have some of my own personal bias about what fits my own identity as Butch – such as I would never be caught with my hair not kept very short – it’s not my place to say that longer hair is not Butch for the next person.  Perhaps they can pull it off just fine as it aligns with their own personal tastes in what being Butch means to them.

The Butch identity has long existed and has morphed through history over and over.  But one thing seems to permeate the entire lineage – Butch resembles the masculine, the male and the dominant way of things. But there are as many types of men in this world as there are ideas of what “masculine” means to different people.  I have my personal ideas, my quirks, my adaptations of masculine presentation, and you have yours.  It’s pretty much that simple.  No one will ever agree on EXACTLY what Butch means, or is, or should be in the gender non-conforming community.  So if it’s working for you, just do it.  Do what feels right, what looks right for you and what you know you feel most comfortable in.  And be the best damned Butch you can be.  Oh, and use your damned manners!  Don’t I hate a Butch with no manners…THAT is one thing I think we should all hold proudly, that Butches know how to be masculine, and have manners too!

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Author: MainelyButch

I am a pretty relaxed, proud, Butch and a native Mainer who enjoys reading, writing, blogging, vlogging and social interaction. I live in southern Maine, near the coast with my 2 small dogs and I hail from a very large, loving family that is historically rooted here. I write about my life, my experiences, living successfully with HIV, my YouTube experiences, and just about anything that piques my interest. This blog may contain profanity and sexual situations, and is not intended for younger audiences. Read at your own risk. At 54 I see life as just beginning a new chapter, and have decide this is the time that I need to write the stories that got me to this point. I believe we live our lives in chapters, changing, evolving and moving continuously with the times. I love to laugh, have discussions, debates and even the occasional nonsense conversation! I generally enjoy people, but not drama, hatred, ignorance or those who choose to feel they are somehow elite or superior to another simply due to their mere existence. I try to be very conscious of the health of the world around me - environmentally, socially, economically, and ethically. The people who are dear to me know me as having a tough exterior, filled with marshmallow and crunchy peanut butter. I continually strive to be the best I can be, especially to address life head on...always.

3 thoughts on “My Butch Identity”

  1. Identity policing is why I don’t go on the transgender Reddit any more. There seem to be two opposite ways of identity policing.

    1. The “you’re not a real [group identity]” approach.
    2. And the “you’re a self-hating [group identity]” approach.

    I’ve never been accused of being “not a real trans” personally, but I have fallen victim to the other form of identity policing on the internet. So much so, that at one stage I wondered if the “trans” label was even working for me!

    Ironically, my experiences have now changed my perceptions to the point where I conform far more neatly to the trans woman stereotype, but the identity policing still bothers the crap out of me.

  2. I usually say *stud* instead but both (to me) have the same meaning. I just don’t go around saying I am either because to me, I have a name I was given at birth that identifies with who I am. My sexual orientation however is my personal preference as far as what I do in love. But I have been mistaken MANY times for a man/boy (I do not look my age bc I look way to young). I do not correct them (sometimes others that are with me tend to correct the ones that mistake me for male) because to me I feel more masculine and along the lines (some lines I can’t cross like not having what a guy does have lol) of a male. But I am just happy all in all to just be myself. And that’s what counts most of all. Being true to who you are and loving the person you have become.

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